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The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

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How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
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I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, ‘The whole time.
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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
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I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
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Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
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Some friends of mine got me a sweater for my birthday. I’d have preferred a moaner or a screamer, but the sweater was OK.
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On the other hand, you have different fingers.
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I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
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Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
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