If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
STEVEN WRIGHTIf a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
More Steven Wright Quotes
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If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
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Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
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Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
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Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
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I went to a restaurant that serves ‘breakfast at any time’. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
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Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.
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If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
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If heat rises, then heaven must be hotter than hell.
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Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring… ‘How to Build a Boat.’
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I wish the first word I ever said was the word “quote”, so right before I die I could say “unquote”.
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Some friends of mine got me a sweater for my birthday. I’d have preferred a moaner or a screamer, but the sweater was OK.
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No one is listening until you make a mistake.
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One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, “Didn’t you see the stop sign?” I said, “Yeah, but I don’t believe everything I read”
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Imagine how weird phones would look if your mouth was nowhere near your ears.
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On the other hand, you have different fingers.
STEVEN WRIGHT