If it’s a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
STEVEN WRIGHTIf a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
More Steven Wright Quotes
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I like to reminisce with people I don’t know.
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I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
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A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
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I’m a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I’ll forget.
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For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier. I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
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Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.
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I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
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If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
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Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.
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Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don’t have film.
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If a mute kid swears, should his mother wash his hands with soap?
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I got a new dog. He’s a paranoid retriever. He brings back everything because he’s not sure what I threw him.
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If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
If heat rises, then heaven must be hotter than hell.
STEVEN WRIGHT