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Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.

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My friend has a baby. I’m recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
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Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
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Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.
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A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
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When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobody’s perfect so I stopped practicing.
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I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
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When I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m six I’ll be ninety.
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You know when you’re sitting on a chair and you lean back so you’re just on two legs and you lean too far so you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time.
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Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
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How come abbreviated is such a long word?
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