How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
STEVEN WRIGHTI wish the first word I ever said was the word “quote”, so right before I die I could say “unquote”.
More Steven Wright Quotes
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I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
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Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
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Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?
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You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
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Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
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I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
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Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don’t have film.
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Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring… ‘How to Build a Boat.’
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Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
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Clones are people two.
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When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
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How come abbreviated is such a long word?
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Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.
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I installed a skylight in my apartment, the people who live above me are furious!
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If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.
STEVEN WRIGHT