I like to reminisce with people I don’t know.
STEVEN WRIGHTIf vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
More Steven Wright Quotes
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Clones are people two.
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Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?
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Half the people you know are below average.
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Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.
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I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
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Always remember your unique, just like everyone else.
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Why don’t they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
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Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
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Imagine how weird phones would look if your mouth was nowhere near your ears.
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On the other hand, you have different fingers.
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Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
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Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring… ‘How to Build a Boat.’
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If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
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Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
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Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?
STEVEN WRIGHT