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One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, “Didn’t you see the stop sign?” I said, “Yeah, but I don’t believe everything I read”

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Believe Funny Myself Police Reading See Stop Time

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If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?
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You know when you’re sitting on a chair and you lean back so you’re just on two legs and you lean too far so you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time.
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On the other hand, you have different fingers.
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A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
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How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
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No one is listening until you make a mistake.
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If heat rises, then heaven must be hotter than hell.
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Imagine how weird phones would look if your mouth was nowhere near your ears.
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$Steven Wright Quote - Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.$

Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
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I went to a restaurant that serves ‘breakfast at any time’. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
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When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child… eventually.
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I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
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Clones are people two.
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I am writing a book. So far I have the pages numbered.
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When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobody’s perfect so I stopped practicing.
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If a mute kid swears, should his mother wash his hands with soap?
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