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Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?

Steven Wright

Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
STEVEN WRIGHT

Appearance Funny Hairs Stick
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don’t they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
STEVEN WRIGHT

Crime Man Office Photograph Writing
I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Company Game Myself Thinking Wrong
Imagine how weird phones would look if your mouth was nowhere near your ears.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Appearance Imagination Phone Weird Yourself
When I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m six I’ll be ninety.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Age Anxiety Funny Myself Time
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Alcohol Myself Photograph Thinking Woman
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
STEVEN WRIGHT

Deep Funny Live Nature Ocean
Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
STEVEN WRIGHT

Bill Country Freedom Funny Phone Talk
You know when you’re sitting on a chair and you lean back so you’re just on two legs and you lean too far so you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Fall Feeling Myself Sit Time
If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Destroy Evidence Success Try Yourself
I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Funny Goodness Myself Oneself Worth
If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Death Funny Success Yourself
I got a new dog. He’s a paranoid retriever. He brings back everything because he’s not sure what I threw him.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Animal Dog Himself Myself Return
Half the people you know are below average.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Average Level People Yourself
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
STEVEN WRIGHT

Discipline Funny Himself Person Time
In my house there’s this light switch that doesn’t do anything. Every so often, I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said ‘cut it out’
STEVEN WRIGHT

Call Herself Home Light Myself Phone Woman

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?

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Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?

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