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Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?

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I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
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It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I’d never even thought about killing myself.
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Some friends of mine got me a sweater for my birthday. I’d have preferred a moaner or a screamer, but the sweater was OK.
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If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.
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On the other hand, you have different fingers.
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My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon’s appointments.
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If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
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I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
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I installed a skylight in my apartment, the people who live above me are furious!
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Always remember your unique, just like everyone else.
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You know what scares me? When you have to be nice to some paranoid schizophrenic, just because she lives in your head.
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My friend has a baby. I’m recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
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You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
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For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier. I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
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Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
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