Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
STEVEN WRIGHTEverywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
More Steven Wright Quotes
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If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
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The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
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No one is listening until you make a mistake.
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If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
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Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
If it’s a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
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Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery’s dead?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
My friend has a baby. I’m recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Half the people you know are below average.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
STEVEN WRIGHT