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My nephew has HDADHD. High Definition Attention Deficit Disorder. He can barely pay attention, but when he does it’s unbelievably clear.

Steven Wright

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don’t they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
STEVEN WRIGHT

Crime Man Office Photograph Writing
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
STEVEN WRIGHT

Discipline Funny Himself Person Time
Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery’s dead?
STEVEN WRIGHT

Control Death Game Yourself
Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?
STEVEN WRIGHT

Devil Evil Fantasy Funny Taste True
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
STEVEN WRIGHT

Deep Funny Live Nature Ocean
I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, ‘The whole time.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Funny Herself Myself Night Time Walk
Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?
STEVEN WRIGHT

Mathematics Pronunciation Sound
I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, “Got any shoes you’re not using?
STEVEN WRIGHT

Funny Man Sad Yourself
You know when you’re sitting on a chair and you lean back so you’re just on two legs and you lean too far so you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Fall Feeling Myself Sit Time
Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring… ‘How to Build a Boat.’
STEVEN WRIGHT

Abandonment Book Build Funny Myself Ocean Yourself
There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Idiot Ocean Stand Wait
You know what scares me? When you have to be nice to some paranoid schizophrenic, just because she lives in your head.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Act Attitude Head Herself Live Scare Yourself
Half the people you know are below average.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Average Level People Yourself
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Day Life Yourself
Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Forget Myself Right Thinking Time
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Appearance Different Fingers Hands

My nephew has HDADHD. High Definition Attention Deficit Disorder. He can barely pay attention, but when he does it’s unbelievably clear.

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My nephew has HDADHD. High Definition Attention Deficit Disorder. He can barely pay attention, but when he does it’s unbelievably clear.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Steven Wright Quotes