Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?
STEVEN WRIGHTWhy is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?
STEVEN WRIGHTThe other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, ‘Where the hell is my roof?
STEVEN WRIGHTWhen I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child… eventually.
STEVEN WRIGHTI wish the first word I ever said was the word “quote”, so right before I die I could say “unquote”.
STEVEN WRIGHTHow much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
STEVEN WRIGHTHalf the people you know are below average.
STEVEN WRIGHTRight now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
STEVEN WRIGHTIt was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I’d never even thought about killing myself.
STEVEN WRIGHTI have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.
STEVEN WRIGHTI was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, “Got any shoes you’re not using?
STEVEN WRIGHTIf a mute kid swears, should his mother wash his hands with soap?
STEVEN WRIGHTWhy do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery’s dead?
STEVEN WRIGHTThe older you get, the more you learn to see what you’ve been taught to see. When you’re a kid, you see what’s there.
STEVEN WRIGHTIf a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
STEVEN WRIGHTShin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
STEVEN WRIGHTIf Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
STEVEN WRIGHT