If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
STEVEN WRIGHTAlways remember your unique, just like everyone else.
More Steven Wright Quotes
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Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.
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You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
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I went to a restaurant that serves ‘breakfast at any time’. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
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I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, ‘The whole time.
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Clones are people two.
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Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
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If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?
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Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?
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If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
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Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
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Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
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Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
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No one is listening until you make a mistake.
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I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
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My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon’s appointments.
STEVEN WRIGHT