Some people have a way with words, and other people; oh, uh, not have way.
STEVE MARTINDon’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.
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There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won’t stand for that.
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I’ve got to keep breathing. It’ll be my worst business mistake if I don’t.
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I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is.
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You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
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I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
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The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.
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No art comes from the conscious mind.
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Acting is collaborative because you are working with another actor, and it’s almost like a two-man juggling team. You have to really be in sync.
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Dinosaurs did not walk with humans. The evolutionary record says different. They gambled.
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How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars.
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I could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.
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You can’t really conduct your life by one or two phrases.
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I’m not trying to be a big shot or anything like that, but I get my drinks half price.
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Be so good they can’t ignore you.
STEVE MARTIN