The banjo is such a happy instrument–you can’t play a sad song on the banjo – it always comes out so cheerful.
STEVE MARTINDon’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.
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It’s pain that changes our lives.
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Some people have a way with words, and other people; oh, uh, not have way.
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I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl’s leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.
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Thankfully, perseverance is a good substitute for talent.
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Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
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Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.
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Always do business as if the person you’re doing business with is trying to screw you, because he probably is. And if he’s not, you can be pleasantly surprised.
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How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars.
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Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!
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How many people have never raised their hand before?
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I was always very shy but as I get older I think, What am I being shy for? You just grow weary of your own hang-ups.
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When I die, now don’t think that I’m a nut, don’t want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.
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There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won’t stand for that.
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I really enjoy finding the right word, creating a good, flowing sentence. I enjoy the rhythm of the words.
STEVE MARTIN






