Chaos in the midst of chaos isn’t funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.
STEVE MARTINDon’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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It’s pain that changes our lives.
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The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.
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A father carries pictures where his money used to be.
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I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.
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Despite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity: naïveté, that fabulous quality that keeps you from knowing just how unsuited you are for what you are about to do.
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I believe the United States should allow all foreigners in this country, provided they can speak our native language… Apache.
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How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars.
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Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!
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You can’t really conduct your life by one or two phrases.
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There’s no better way to learn something than to learn it in front of an audience. Your terror drives you.
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It was essential that I never show doubt about what I was doing.
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I will do anything to look like him – except, of course, exercise or eat right.
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Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.
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It’s not the size of the nose that matters, it’s what’s inside that counts.
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I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is.
STEVE MARTIN