Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you’ll be a mile away and have his shoes.
STEVE MARTINBefore you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you’ll be a mile away and have his shoes.
STEVE MARTINI guess I wouldn’t believe in anything if it weren’t for my lucky astrology mood watch.
STEVE MARTINDon’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
STEVE MARTINDespite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity: naïveté, that fabulous quality that keeps you from knowing just how unsuited you are for what you are about to do.
STEVE MARTINA day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
STEVE MARTINI thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is.
STEVE MARTINIt was essential that I never show doubt about what I was doing.
STEVE MARTINI started a grease fire at McDonald’s – threw a match in the cook’s hair.
STEVE MARTINAll I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.
STEVE MARTINNow let’s repeat the non-conformists’ oath: I promise to be different! I promise to be unique! I promise not to repeat things other people say! Good!
STEVE MARTINWriter’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
STEVE MARTINI’ve got to keep breathing. It’ll be my worst business mistake if I don’t.
STEVE MARTINI was deeply unhappy, but I didn’t know it because I was so happy all the time.
STEVE MARTINI actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl’s leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.
STEVE MARTINWith comedy, you never know until you put it in front of an audience. You shoot it and a year later you have no idea if it’s going to work. And then you get the response. It’s great when it’s good.
STEVE MARTINThe conscious mind is the editor, and the subconscious mind is the writer.
STEVE MARTIN