There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won’t stand for that.
STEVE MARTINAlways do business as if the person you’re doing business with is trying to screw you, because he probably is. And if he’s not, you can be pleasantly surprised.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!
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No art comes from the conscious mind.
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It’s pain that changes our lives.
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I’ve got to keep breathing. It’ll be my worst business mistake if I don’t.
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There’s no better way to learn something than to learn it in front of an audience. Your terror drives you.
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Be so good they can’t ignore you.
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How many people have never raised their hand before?
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I believe the United States should allow all foreigners in this country, provided they can speak our native language… Apache.
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I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.
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I love money. I love everything about it.
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I was always very shy but as I get older I think, What am I being shy for? You just grow weary of your own hang-ups.
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There’s someone out there for everyone – even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.
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I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl’s leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.
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Teaching is, after all, a form of show business.
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It’s not the size of the nose that matters, it’s what’s inside that counts.
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