Teaching is, after all, a form of show business.
STEVE MARTINI guess I wouldn’t believe in anything if it weren’t for my lucky astrology mood watch.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl’s leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.
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Always do business as if the person you’re doing business with is trying to screw you, because he probably is. And if he’s not, you can be pleasantly surprised.
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I just downloaded eleven hundred books onto my Kindle, and now I can’t lift it.
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I’ve got to keep breathing. It’ll be my worst business mistake if I don’t.
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There’s no better way to learn something than to learn it in front of an audience. Your terror drives you.
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Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
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Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
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There’s someone out there for everyone – even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.
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I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is.
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I was always very shy but as I get older I think, What am I being shy for? You just grow weary of your own hang-ups.
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Through the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration.
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I guess I wouldn’t believe in anything if it weren’t for my lucky astrology mood watch.
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You can’t really conduct your life by one or two phrases.
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I’m not trying to be a big shot or anything like that, but I get my drinks half price.
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I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.
STEVE MARTIN






