Some people have a way with words, and other people; oh, uh, not have way.
STEVE MARTINI could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl’s leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.
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Thankfully, perseverance is a good substitute for talent.
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I started a grease fire at McDonald’s – threw a match in the cook’s hair.
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I have found that– just as in real life–imagination sometimes has to stand in for experience.
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When I die, now don’t think that I’m a nut, don’t want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.
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With comedy, you never know until you put it in front of an audience. You shoot it and a year later you have no idea if it’s going to work. And then you get the response. It’s great when it’s good.
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There’s no better way to learn something than to learn it in front of an audience. Your terror drives you.
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I guess I wouldn’t believe in anything if it weren’t for my lucky astrology mood watch.
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Always make room for the unexpected in yourself.
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I’ve got to keep breathing. It’ll be my worst business mistake if I don’t.
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I really enjoy finding the right word, creating a good, flowing sentence. I enjoy the rhythm of the words.
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Through the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration.
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I will do anything to look like him – except, of course, exercise or eat right.
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You can’t really conduct your life by one or two phrases.
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It was essential that I never show doubt about what I was doing.
STEVE MARTIN