I could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.
STEVE MARTINI could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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Through the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration.
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I was deeply unhappy, but I didn’t know it because I was so happy all the time.
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I’m not trying to be a big shot or anything like that, but I get my drinks half price.
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Always make room for the unexpected in yourself.
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Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
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First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
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The conscious mind is the editor, and the subconscious mind is the writer.
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Despite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity: naïveté, that fabulous quality that keeps you from knowing just how unsuited you are for what you are about to do.
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I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is.
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There’s someone out there for everyone – even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.
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I’ve got to keep breathing. It’ll be my worst business mistake if I don’t.
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Teaching is, after all, a form of show business.
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I love money. I love everything about it.
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Always do business as if the person you’re doing business with is trying to screw you, because he probably is. And if he’s not, you can be pleasantly surprised.
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I have found that– just as in real life–imagination sometimes has to stand in for experience.
STEVE MARTIN






