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I could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.

Steve Martin

I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl’s leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.
STEVE MARTIN

Animal Funny Goodness Important Laughter Learning Myself Sex
Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.
STEVE MARTIN

Artitect Dance Music Talk
Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
STEVE MARTIN

Kiss Man Sex Start Talk Yourself
I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is.
STEVE MARTIN

Day Life Myself Past Present
There’s someone out there for everyone – even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.
STEVE MARTIN

Need People Relationship Soul Mate Yourself
I will do anything to look like him – except, of course, exercise or eat right.
STEVE MARTIN

Appearance Eat Exercise Funny Myself Right
I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.
STEVE MARTIN

Believe Equality Myself Stupidity
It’s not what you know, it’s what you think you know.
STEVE MARTIN

Philosophy Thinking Yourself
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
STEVE MARTIN

Hard Time Night Shine Sun Yourself
Now let’s repeat the non-conformists’ oath: I promise to be different! I promise to be unique! I promise not to repeat things other people say! Good!
STEVE MARTIN

Different Goodness Myself People Promise Talk Unique
I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
STEVE MARTIN

Beautiful Believe Money Myself Natural Sex
Acting is collaborative because you are working with another actor, and it’s almost like a two-man juggling team. You have to really be in sync.
STEVE MARTIN

Act Actor Collaboration Team Work Yourself
It’s not the size of the nose that matters, it’s what’s inside that counts.
STEVE MARTIN

Appearance Body Count Self Love Worth
Always do business as if the person you’re doing business with is trying to screw you, because he probably is. And if he’s not, you can be pleasantly surprised.
STEVE MARTIN

Business Happiness Person Surprise Try Yourself
No art comes from the conscious mind.
STEVE MARTIN

Art Conscience Mindset One Liner
Some nights, alone, he thinks of her, and some nights, alone, she thinks of him. Some night these thoughts, separated by miles and time zones, occur at the same objective moment, and Ray and Mirabelle are connected without ever knowing it.
STEVE MARTIN

Alone Break Up Connection Deep Herself Himself Moments Night Relationship Thinking

I could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.

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I could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.

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Popular Authors

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