I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl’s leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.
STEVE MARTINI could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.
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Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
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I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is.
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There’s someone out there for everyone – even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.
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I will do anything to look like him – except, of course, exercise or eat right.
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I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.
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It’s not what you know, it’s what you think you know.
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A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
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Now let’s repeat the non-conformists’ oath: I promise to be different! I promise to be unique! I promise not to repeat things other people say! Good!
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I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
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Acting is collaborative because you are working with another actor, and it’s almost like a two-man juggling team. You have to really be in sync.
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It’s not the size of the nose that matters, it’s what’s inside that counts.
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Always do business as if the person you’re doing business with is trying to screw you, because he probably is. And if he’s not, you can be pleasantly surprised.
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No art comes from the conscious mind.
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Some nights, alone, he thinks of her, and some nights, alone, she thinks of him. Some night these thoughts, separated by miles and time zones, occur at the same objective moment, and Ray and Mirabelle are connected without ever knowing it.
STEVE MARTIN