I have found that– just as in real life–imagination sometimes has to stand in for experience.
STEVE MARTINI could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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It was essential that I never show doubt about what I was doing.
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When I die, now don’t think that I’m a nut, don’t want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.
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I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.
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I will do anything to look like him – except, of course, exercise or eat right.
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Now let’s repeat the non-conformists’ oath: I promise to be different! I promise to be unique! I promise not to repeat things other people say! Good!
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There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won’t stand for that.
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No art comes from the conscious mind.
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It’s pain that changes our lives.
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I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
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Some nights, alone, he thinks of her, and some nights, alone, she thinks of him. Some night these thoughts, separated by miles and time zones, occur at the same objective moment, and Ray and Mirabelle are connected without ever knowing it.
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I was deeply unhappy, but I didn’t know it because I was so happy all the time.
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I started a grease fire at McDonald’s – threw a match in the cook’s hair.
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You can’t really conduct your life by one or two phrases.
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Thankfully, perseverance is a good substitute for talent.
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First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
STEVE MARTIN