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Always make room for the unexpected in yourself.

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Expectation Inspirational Motivational Room Yourself

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I was deeply unhappy, but I didn’t know it because I was so happy all the time.
STEVE MARTIN

Deep Emotion Happiness Myself Sad Time
I’ve got to keep breathing. It’ll be my worst business mistake if I don’t.
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Breathe Business Mistake Myself Worst
There’s someone out there for everyone – even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.
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Need People Relationship Soul Mate Yourself
A father carries pictures where his money used to be.
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Carry Father Himself Money Photograph Sadness
With comedy, you never know until you put it in front of an audience. You shoot it and a year later you have no idea if it’s going to work. And then you get the response. It’s great when it’s good.
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Audience Comedy Goodness Greatness Ideas Response Work Yourself
You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
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Appearance Funny Myself Sex Woman Yourself
The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.
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Greatness Hard Work Inspirational Surprise Yourself
It’s not what you know, it’s what you think you know.
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Philosophy Thinking Yourself
Thankfully, perseverance is a good substitute for talent.
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Goodness Inspirational Motivational Perseverance Substitute Talent Thankful
I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl’s leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.
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Animal Funny Goodness Important Laughter Learning Myself Sex
Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
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Alcohol Drink Poet Team Writing
I started a grease fire at McDonald’s – threw a match in the cook’s hair.
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Cook Fire Hairs Match Mischief Myself Start
Teaching is, after all, a form of show business.
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Appearance Business Perspective Teach
Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you’ll be a mile away and have his shoes.
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Criticize Himself Man Walk Way Yourself
Chaos in the midst of chaos isn’t funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.
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Destruction Funny Philosophy
I love money. I love everything about it.
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Love Money Myself One Liner

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