I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
SPIKE MILLIGANMany people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
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Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
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Its all in the mind, you know.
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Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
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There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
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If I don’t eat soon, I’ll die of hunger; and if I die, I won’t eat soon.
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
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Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
SPIKE MILLIGAN