My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
SPIKE MILLIGANMany people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
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I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
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There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
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Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
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Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
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Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
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If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
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It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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God made night, But man made darkness.
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This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it’s meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in
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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
SPIKE MILLIGAN