I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
SPIKE MILLIGANAristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
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Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
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A lot of learning can be a little thing.
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I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
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Its all in the mind, you know.
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My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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I told you I was sick.
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I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
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In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
SPIKE MILLIGAN