I don’t know who in my family thinks very fast at all, including me. The things that people see me do onstage are written, so it doesn’t have to be very quick if you have all day with a pen.
RON WHITEThere were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.
More Ron White Quotes
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I would have rather been beat by a plumber than Kathy Griffin.
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Movies are boring. It’s like watching paint dry. I did a little role in a movie, and it was eight lines. I was there for three days. It’s just horrible.
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That’s the beauty of being a straight-to-DVD star. It really helps you stay under the media’s radar.
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Everybody I know is a joke writer.
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I’ve gathered some of my close musical and comedian friends, and we’re going to see if we can’t bring a few laughs to these soldiers, raise some money, and hopefully lift their spirits.
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As long as I stay engaged with everybody else, then I’ll create more comedy. It’s just when I shut off and stay at home… What helps me is just to keep moving.
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You wanna get the truth out of me, get me hammered.
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Think of The Rontourage as the Ron White Channel, where you can see us getting into trouble in all kinds of different places.
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It never dawned on me that I had the option of becoming a comedian. I come from a little dirt street town in northwest Texas, and they really don’t talk about the arts there much on career day.
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Mother, she likes the blue material just fine.
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Ultimately I’m the writer for me, but also, anytime one of my friends gets stuck with a bit, they can call me, and I’m pretty good at helping them get there.
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The only thing I really worry about is my live stand-up show because I have to answer to the fans.
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There’s not a pill you can take; there’s not a class you can go to. Stupid is forever.
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I didn’t get where I am today by worryin’ about how I’d feel tomorrow.
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I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.
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