The first thing I ever got my hands on was Andy Griffith’s ‘What It Was, Was Football.’ I was fascinated with the fact that every syllable made it funny, and I would laugh even though I didn’t know what any of it meant.
RON WHITEThere were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.
More Ron White Quotes
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I’ve got a great cigar collection – it’s actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn’t going to smoke every last one of ’em.
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My opening acts are always really strong because I need a guy who can take on a big, big crowd. Which is not that easy to do.
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Somebody the other day had a review, called me ‘America’s reprobate.’ And I don’t even know what that means, but I kinda like the way it sounds.
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My goal is just to become a better comedian.
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A killer Cuban restaurant with a giant cigar bar. Have me a Cuban sandwich. That’s just like heaven to me. I’m a simple man.
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Television is 15 hour days. Movies are 18 hour days. And it’s 18 hours of doing not a thing.
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If you look at the common denominator of all the comics who have had big success, it’s being true to their nature… that’s what takes a long time to learn.
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There have been times in my life that I’ve had a ton of vices, and my demons have run amok for years and years and years.
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I was a little one-trick pony. I do what I’ve always done. That’s really where my best stuff comes from. I don’t know how it happens. It just happens.
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I was always a funny guy. I don’t think anybody that makes it to this level of stand-up wasn’t a funny guy when they were young.
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I’ve never been one to look up the ladder. I’ve always looked down the ladder. As long as there’s one guy down there, I’m fine.
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Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin.
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Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty… mine’s putting in an express lane.
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My shows are not all-the-way filthy, but they can be.
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I still love to walk on stage and make people laugh, and I work very, very hard at it, and I take it seriously.
RON WHITE