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There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.

Ron White

I’ve never been one to look up the ladder. I’ve always looked down the ladder. As long as there’s one guy down there, I’m fine.
RON WHITE

Been Down Fine Look One Ladder
I don’t watch Comedy Central. I don’t enjoy it.
RON WHITE

Central Comedy Enjoy Watch
A killer Cuban restaurant with a giant cigar bar. Have me a Cuban sandwich. That’s just like heaven to me. I’m a simple man.
RON WHITE

Cigar Cuban Giant Heaven Killer Restaurant Sanwick Simple
There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.
RON WHITE

Actual Beer Diet Drink Fat Guy Real Scotch Tequila Year
Movies are boring. It’s like watching paint dry. I did a little role in a movie, and it was eight lines. I was there for three days. It’s just horrible.
RON WHITE

Dry Eight Horrible Line More Move Paint Role Threym Day Watch
Comedy is all about the pause.
RON WHITE

Al Comedy Pause
I don’t have a specific plan except for as long as people want to listen to me talk, I’m going to keep talking. I can’t imagine a life without doing standup.
RON WHITE

Except Imagine Kep Life Listen Long People Plan Specific Talk
I don’t do talk shows or go on Dr. Phil’s show. He’s a friend of mine, and, no, he doesn’t give me any advice. He doesn’t give solicited advice.
RON WHITE

Advice Friend Go Mine Show Solicite Talk
I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative. If you’re a painter and someone stretches your canvas, it was collaborative on some level.
RON WHITE

Anything Believe Collaborative Creative Partner Some Someone Somewhat Stretch
I’ve asked these guys in rock bands with all the 18-wheelers driving to the venue how they make money. I just don’t understand it. But I don’t understand a lot of things.
RON WHITE

Ask Band Guy Monkey Rock Understand Venue
My uncle was a preacher, and I used to go watch him preach. He was also funny, so I’m very ‘preacher-ish’ on stage, not by intent but because that’s where I learned to talk in front of people.
RON WHITE

Funny Intent Preach Preacher Stage Uncle Use Watch
When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.
RON WHITE

Back Country Dad Drive Old Range Take Twelve Year
My shows are not all-the-way filthy, but they can be.
RON WHITE

All Be Can Show Way
I do live like a rock star, but it’s not as great as it sounds. It’s a lot of traveling.
RON WHITE

Great Live Lot Rock Sound Star Travel
Donald Trump – and I don’t dislike Donald one single bit – has no idea how good the Mexican people are at building tunnels.
RON WHITE

Bit Build Could Country Good Idea People President Single Tunnel
I would have rather been beat by a plumber than Kathy Griffin.
RON WHITE

Beat People Plumber Rather Would

There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.

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There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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