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One year they asked me to be poster boy – for birth control.

Rodney Dangerfield

Related Topics

Ask Birth Boy Control One Poster Year

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I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
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Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask.
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We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
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I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.
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My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.
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I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
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At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he knows he can’t.
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I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
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The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
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My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
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What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
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What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
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I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
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I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.
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This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.
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My cousin’s gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
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