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My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.

Rodney Dangerfield

Related Topics

Back Car Drive Want Wife

Bagwalas

Popular Authors

Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I’m at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I’ve just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Age Food Kitchen Life Mirror Over Tab Taken
My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Calendar Day Get Jealous Look May Other Ridiculous Want Wife
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Always Found Kid Move Parent
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Bartender Plumber Psychiatrist See Seen Told Truth Wife
My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Afraid Dark Light Me Naked Saw Wife
My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Around Came Carry Father Picture Wallet
Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Country Dog Every Leave Pyramid Room Some
I’m taking Viagra and drinking prune juice – I don’t know if I’m coming or going.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Come Drink Go Juice Prune Take Viagra
The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Honest Luck Politician Run Way
I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Fat Found Look One Only Out People Way
It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Dog Drink Glass Kiss Lip Married Stay Tough Wife
At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he knows he can’t.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Fight Full Hope Man Reform Seventy Still Twenty Want
I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Dog Family Found Look Three Tree
My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Come Door Life Met Negligee Night Other Sexy Unfortunately
When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Cat Cover Kept Me Play Sandbox Up
My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Born I Morning Mother Sickness

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