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What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.

Rodney Dangerfield

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Arm Bone Dog Favorite My

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My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
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A girl phoned me the other day and said… ‘Come on over, there’s nobody home.’ I went over. Nobody was home.
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I’m taking Viagra and drinking prune juice – I don’t know if I’m coming or going.
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Life is just a bowl of pits.
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What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
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Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.
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When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
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I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
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When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
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What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
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I met the surgeon general – he offered me a cigarette.
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It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.
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I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
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I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.
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