Funny Quotes
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
Groucho MarxGroucho Marx It’s funny because what happens to me when I read a script, when something grabs hold of me, I start getting these flashes of people or places or things or images.
Johnny DeppJohnny Depp Going through a rough break-up? Nothing a little dance party with friends can’t ease.
Selena GomezSelena Gomez You Gujarati people are so cute but why is your food so dangerous dhokla, fafda, handva, thepla it sounds like they are missiles
Kareena KapoorKareena Kapoor Repeat mantra: Donuts are not vitamins, donuts are not.
William Howard TaftWilliam Howard Taft When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.
Erma BombeckErma Bombeck It is disgusting – Why must we have bodies?
Jean-Paul SartreJean-Paul Sartre The closest encounter I had with films in my childhood was sitting on the lap of my father at a shooting set, and he would say ‘rain,’ and it started raining, and then he would say ‘song,’ and people started dancing. I thought I was sitting on God’s lap.
Fahadh FaasilFahadh Faasil Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
Groucho MarxGroucho Marx People always tell me “Have a nice day.” Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
George CarlinGeorge Carlin I try to exercise in nature, and I try to play golf once a month. The last time I played golf with my wife, however, she got better scores than me, which became an additional source of stress.
Shinzo AbeShinzo Abe The reason fat men are good natured is they can neither fight nor run.
Theodore RooseveltTheodore Roosevelt I like Kit-Kat, unless I’m with four or more people.
Mitch HedbergMitch Hedberg Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
Groucho MarxGroucho Marx What’s really funny about being National Youth Poet Laureate is that not everyone even knows it exists.
Amanda GormanAmanda Gorman I think I have an inner confidence that my tastes are pretty simple, that what I find funny finds a wide audience.
Rowan AtkinsonRowan Atkinson