Funny Quotes

An assorted collection of quotes on Funny with high quality images that will help you to relate with the right words. Quotes are the rythmical creation of words. Download and share this collection of Funny quotes with your firiends, family and loved ones on social media platforms.

If someone ever asks you to do something for them, do it really bad so you never have to do it again.
PARIS HILTON

Bad Funny Work Yourself
The Second Amendment says we have the right to bear arms, not to bear artillery.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Alcohol Amendment Bear Funny Humour
Sometimes, we all laugh for a joke which is not funny and cry for a love not meant to be.
TOM METCAFE

Break Up Broken Heart Cry Deep Funny Joke Laugh Love
Making a decision to write was a lot like deciding to jump into a frozen lake.
MAYA ANGELOU

Decision Frozen Funny Humour Jump Lake Writing
If God wanted us to bend over he’d put diamonds on the floor.
JOAN RIVERS

Funny God Himself
I don’t care what you say, so don’t even speak.
LIL WAYNE

Care Funny Hate Myself One Liner
A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
ROBERT FROST

Choose Consist Decision Funny Lawyer Person
Always drink upstream from the herd.
WILL ROGERS

Drink Funny Leadership
I find it so funny that people find me interesting.
BRITNEY SPEARS

Funny Instagram Captions Myself People
A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. “What shall we name the other one?” I smiled. She was not amused.
ERMA BOMBECK

Body Boundary Community Fun Funny Humor Myself Smile
I’d love to romance Aishwarya Rai. But I’m 58 now. So I have to play her father.
AMITABH BACHCHAN

Father Funny Herself Love Myself Play Romance
The only grounds for divorce in California are marriage.
CHER

Divorce Funny Marriage
If you’re a guy, you have absolutely no idea what’s going on at any time in the relationship, ever.
ADAM CAROLLA

Absolutely Ever Funny Humor Idea Relationship
Why should I worry about the biological clock ticking? Saif is 10 years older. He should be worried.
KAREENA KAPOOR

Children Funny Himself Myself Parents Pregnant Science Sex Worry
I was an idiot when I was a kid.
KOBE BRYANT

Funny Idiot Kids
Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Funny Heart Love Nation Patriot Yourself
It’s funny because what happens to me when I read a script, when something grabs hold of me, I start getting these flashes of people or places or things or images.
JOHNNY DEPP

Flash Funny Grabs People Photograph Place Reading Script
Barbie is my role model. She might not do anything, but she looks good doing it.
PARIS HILTON

Funny Goodness Herself Idol Myself Role
Funny things tend not to happen to me. I am not a natural comic. I need to think about things a lot before I can be even remotely amusing.
ROWAN ATKINSON

Amuse Comics Funny Happen Natural Need Thinking
Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
GEORGE CARLIN

Funny Humour Snoking Swimming
The only marriage I’ve observed for any length of time is my parents – 35 years. I asked my pop, I go, ‘Pop, 35 years – what do you hope for?’ He’s like, ‘I hope you die first.’
ADAM FERRARA

Funny Length Marriage Observed Parent Time Year
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX

Funny Missing One Liner Women
If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.
BILL MAHER

Bank Funny Gun Weapon Yourself
The joke was that President Bush only declared war when Starbucks was hit. You can mess with the U.N. all you want, but when you start interfering with the right to get caffeinated, someone has to pay.
CHRIS KYLE

Funny Joke Play Right Start War Yourself
I had no idea what was going on but I loved every moment of it!! Tokyo’s restaurant game is next level hotness.
WILL SMITH

Funny Hot Humour Ideas Moments Restaurant
When I sell liquor, it’s bootlegging. When my patrons serve it on a silver tray on Lakeshore Drive, it’s hospitality.
AL CAPONE

Alcohol Drink Funny Humor
Sometimes I smile so big, I get scared that my face is gonna explode.
DEMI LOVATO

Fear Funny Instagram Captions Myself Smile

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