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self-pity is better than none.

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Better Ity None Self

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If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door greet him with, ‘Who could have done this? We have no enemies!’
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Come Enemy Geet House Mess Really Strange Win
If your husband wants to lick the beaters on the mixer, shut them off before you give them to him.
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Beaten Before Him Husband Lick Mixer Want
I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.
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Afford All Children Move Them Thing Want
Oh, that dog! Ever hear of a German Shepherd that bites its nails? Barks with a lisp? You say, “Attack!” And he has one. All he does is piddle. He’s nothing but a fur-covered kidney that barks.
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Attack Country Dog Even Hear Ible Lisp Mail One People Person Piddle
Doctors say it’s okay to have sex after a heart attack, provided you close the ambulance door.
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After Ambulance Attack Close Doctor Door Heart Okay Provide
Nothing was happening in the bedroom. I nicknamed our waterbed the Dead Sea.
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Bedroom Dead Nickname Nothing Happen Sea Waterbed
The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing at you.
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Down Head Kwwp Laugh Pro Real Reson See Tell
self-pity is better than none.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Better Ity None Self
Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
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Away Children Home Keep Only Parent Some Thing Threaten
The constants all through the centuries will be the same; wine, women and song. Other than that, life will be very different technologically. In the year 3000 the universe will be expanding as it will forever, infinitely. We will probe outer space but never find life as evolutionized as ours
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Constant Difference Other Same Song Technology Thought Wine Year
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
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Bed Fight Go never Stay Up
Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle – keep away from children.
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Advice Away Bottle Children Follow Keep Transquilzer Work
I’m eighteen years behind in my ironing.
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Anybody Behind Doing Eighteen Iron Know Now Use Year
A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
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Curve Set Smile Straight
Aim high, and you won’t shoot your foot off.
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Aim Fool High Off Shoot
You know what keeps me humble? Mirrors!
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Humble Keep Know Mirror

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