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I don’t know how you feel about old age… but in my case I didn’t even see it coming. It hit me from the rear.

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Age Come How Feel Me Old Rear See Should

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

You know you’re old if they have discontinued your blood type.
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My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.
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I love to go to the doctor. Where else would a man look at me and say, ‘Take off your clothes’?
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My own laugh is the real thing and I’ve had it all my life.
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Remember there is no way you can give the father custody of the children without getting a divorce.
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I spent seven hours in a beauty shop… and that was for the estimate.
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We Californians are constantly accused of not having seasons, but we do. We have fire, flood, mud, and drought.
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There’s such a buildup of crud in my oven, there’s only room to bake a single cupcake.
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We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
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A passport picture is a photo of a man that he can laugh at without realizing that it looks exactly the way his friends see him.
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I will never give up. I am in my 14th year of a 10-day beauty plan.
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If your husband wants to lick the beaters on the mixer, shut them off before you give them to him.
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Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age – as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
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I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.
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Health – what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.
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Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.
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