Ever see this? It’s a homeless guy but he’s got a dog… The dog’s really thrilled with this idea. The dog’s going, Hey pal, I can do this by myself pretty well. The longest walk in the world you got me on here.
NORM MACDONALDIt is vain to complain of fortune while we fail in policy and conduct.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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Liberty, like health, appears most precious when lost.
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The most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do.
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He that searches for praise will often find contempt.
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I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.
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It is often better to be restricted to necessity than unconfined in the measure of our desires: prosperity destroys more individuals than adversity ruins.
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I’m thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.
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Flattery succeeds best on minds previously occupied by conceit.
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In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers we daily escape.
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This would have been a great game to watch if we didn’t have any money on it.
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Hypocrisy is the outward acknowledgment of inward shame.
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The joy a person is usually seen to express at the conversion of another to his opinion is seldom more than the impulse of egotistical satisfaction at being considered worthy of didactic imitation.
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All my life’s about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn’t cost very much money.
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The praise we seek for our own virtues sometimes tempts us to flatter the imperfections of other men.
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Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied.
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With the ambitious, the failure of one expedient is the suggestion of another; but with the irresolute, defeat usually occasions abandonment of purpose.
NORM MACDONALD