Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.
MARK TWAINIf you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.
More Mark Twain Quotes
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Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
MARK TWAIN -
What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.
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Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.
MARK TWAIN -
There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior there is a drama, a comedy, and a tragedy.
MARK TWAIN -
The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.
MARK TWAIN -
Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe.
MARK TWAIN -
Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
MARK TWAIN -
Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.
MARK TWAIN -
The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.
MARK TWAIN -
Obscurity and a competence – that is the life that is best worth living.
MARK TWAIN -
It’s better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt.
MARK TWAIN -
If you don’t read the newspaper, you’re uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you’re mis-informed.
MARK TWAIN -
In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards.
MARK TWAIN -
Be good and you will be lonesome.
MARK TWAIN -
If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
MARK TWAIN