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Well, if I can be of any help at all, you are in worse trouble than I thought.

Lily Tomlin

If evolution was worth its salt, it should’ve evolved something better than ‘survival of the fittest.’ I think a better idea would be ‘survival of the wittiest.’ At least, that way, creatures that didn’t survive could’ve died laughing.
LILY TOMLIN

Better Creature Death Evolution Laughter Survive Worth
Well, if I can be of any help at all, you are in worse trouble than I thought.
LILY TOMLIN

Help Myself Thinking Trouble Worst
The road to success is always under construction.
LILY TOMLIN

Construction Inspirational Road Success
People hire me to create some kind of archetype or some culture type, or something. I guess they accept whatever I come up with.
LILY TOMLIN

Acceptance Creation Kind Myself People
There’s nothing sadder than getting to the end of your life and saying, ‘I didn’t do it right’.
LILY TOMLIN

End Life Regret Right Sad Yourself
Wouldn’t it be great if we all grew up to be what we wanted to be? The world would be full of nurses, firemen, and ballerinas.
LILY TOMLIN

Greatness Growth World
I try to be cynical, but it’s so hard to keep up.
LILY TOMLIN

Hard Myself Try
What I appreciate is acknowledging to the audience that I think they have brains.
LILY TOMLIN

Audience Brain Knowledge Myself Praise Thinking
Being a New Yorker is never having to say you are sorry.
LILY TOMLIN

Place Sorry Yourself
Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It’s the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.
LILY TOMLIN

Adult Country Election Hard Work
Lady, I do not make up things. That is lies. Lies are not true. But the truth could be made up if yo know how. And that’s the truth.
LILY TOMLIN

Lying Make Up True Yourself
We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.
LILY TOMLIN

Believe Freedom Hands Man Reason Sex Walk
You are what you think, geez, that’s frightening.
LILY TOMLIN

Fear Thinking Yourself
The start to a better world is the belief that it is possible.
LILY TOMLIN

Belief Better Possible Start World
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
LILY TOMLIN

Complain Invention Language Man Satisfaction
There’s so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic.
LILY TOMLIN

Culture Fabric Skin

Well, if I can be of any help at all, you are in worse trouble than I thought.

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Well, if I can be of any help at all, you are in worse trouble than I thought.

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