If evolution was worth its salt, it should’ve evolved something better than ‘survival of the fittest.’ I think a better idea would be ‘survival of the wittiest.’ At least, that way, creatures that didn’t survive could’ve died laughing.
LILY TOMLINWell, if I can be of any help at all, you are in worse trouble than I thought.
More Lily Tomlin Quotes
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Well, if I can be of any help at all, you are in worse trouble than I thought.
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The road to success is always under construction.
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People hire me to create some kind of archetype or some culture type, or something. I guess they accept whatever I come up with.
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There’s nothing sadder than getting to the end of your life and saying, ‘I didn’t do it right’.
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Wouldn’t it be great if we all grew up to be what we wanted to be? The world would be full of nurses, firemen, and ballerinas.
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I try to be cynical, but it’s so hard to keep up.
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What I appreciate is acknowledging to the audience that I think they have brains.
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Being a New Yorker is never having to say you are sorry.
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Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It’s the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.
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Lady, I do not make up things. That is lies. Lies are not true. But the truth could be made up if yo know how. And that’s the truth.
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We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.
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You are what you think, geez, that’s frightening.
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The start to a better world is the belief that it is possible.
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Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
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There’s so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic.
LILY TOMLIN