I got a waterbed, but my husband stocked it with trout.
JOAN RIVERSI got a waterbed, but my husband stocked it with trout.
JOAN RIVERSTo the pessimist the light at the end of the tunnel is another train.
JOAN RIVERSSomething terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
JOAN RIVERSHappiness, at my age, is breathing
JOAN RIVERSI said Justin Bieber looked like a little lesbian — and I stand by it: He’s the daughter Cher wishes she’d had.
JOAN RIVERSWhy should a woman cook? So her husband can say ‘My wife makes a delicious cake’ to some hooker?
JOAN RIVERSOn the Vanna White diet, you only eat what you can spell.
JOAN RIVERSWhen my husband Edgar and I were courting, he said he couldn’t wait to have a baby. It was only after we were married that he changed his mind and decided that I should have the baby.
JOAN RIVERSI knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
JOAN RIVERSBetter laid than never.
JOAN RIVERSDon’t worry about the money. Love the process.
JOAN RIVERSMy daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing, “pick up, I know you’re there.”
JOAN RIVERSOn the Vanna White diet, you only eat what you can spell.
JOAN RIVERSI was born in 1962, and the room next to me was 1963.
JOAN RIVERSA Mafia guy in Vegas gave me this advice: “Run your own race, put on your blinders.”
JOAN RIVERSI was smart enough to go through any door that opened.
JOAN RIVERS