“My earliest childhood memory was watching my parents loosen the wheels on my stroller.”

Life is a movie, and you’re the star. Give it a happy ending.

In life the only thing that you can expect is the unexpected; the only surprise is a day that has none.

A female salmon lays three thousand eggs a year – and has yet to receive a Mother’s Day card from one of them.

I said Justin Bieber looked like a little lesbian — and I stand by it: He’s the daughter Cher wishes she’d had.

Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but I believe when a woman enters a room, men should stand up – and gay men should stand up at least halfway.

I have a million dollar figure but it’s all loose change.

Old age is always ten years more than we are.

Happiness, at my age, is breathing

There are many self-help books by Ph.D.s, but I hold a different degree: an I.B.T.I.A.-I’ve Been Through It All. This degree comes not on parchment but gauze, and it entitles me to tell you that there is a way to get through any misfortune.

You know you’re getting old when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.

Bo Derek turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn’t remember the lines.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

Florida wants to change the state’s motto to attract younger people. They’re thinking about: More than just a great place to die.

Keep moving. It’s hard for old age to hit a moving target.

The fashion magazines are suggesting that women wear clothes that are ‘age appropriate.’ For me that would be a shroud.

Grandchildren can be annoying – how many times can you go: “And the cow goes moo and the pig goes oink”? It’s like talking to a supermodel.

Education is the means to help our children and thereby increase self-respect.

How paramount the future is to the present when one is surrounded by children.

What is the greatest mistake a parent can make?’ she asked. ‘To believe that your children will be just like you.

Faith can be very very dangerous, and deliberately to implant it into the vulnerable mind of an innocent child is a grievous wrong.

Ever since I was a child, I would start crying seeing anyone in pain.

Let’s celebrate every child’s right to play, as it has the power to change lives‬.

You ought not to practice childish ways, since you are no longer that age.

You can’t become a billionaire stepping over children sleeping on the street.