“If it’s a good script I’ll do it. And if it’s a bad script, and they pay me enough, I’ll do it.”

I don’t believe in dying. It’s been done. I’m working on a new exit. Besides, I can’t die now – I’m booked.

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.

The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

You’ve got to be honest; if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.

At my age flowers scare me.

If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.

And the whole is greater than the part.

I would like to tell the young men and women before me not to lose hope and courage.

Andy Warhol made fame more famous.

But in truth, life turns out to be more like the patchwork cloths-bits and pieces, odds and ends-people, places, things we never expected, never wanted, perhaps.