You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
GEORGE BURNSI’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.
More George Burns Quotes
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I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
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Be quick to learn and wise to know.
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Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
GEORGE BURNS -
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
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At my age flowers scare me.
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I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS -
Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
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If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.
GEORGE BURNS -
Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.
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It’s hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
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I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
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Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
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How can I die? I’m booked.
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Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.
GEORGE BURNS






