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I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.

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I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
GEORGE BURNS

Age Cigar Holder Just Now Put Thrill
At my age flowers scare me.
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Age At Flower My Scare
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
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Another Care City Close Family Happiness Knit Large Love
You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
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Down Else Get Stoop While Wonder
Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.
GEORGE BURNS

Came Down Everything Goes Time Up When
I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
GEORGE BURNS

One Spent Sunday Town Year
I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
GEORGE BURNS

Age No Out Women Worth
The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GEORGE BURNS

Fake Got Honesty Important Made Most Thing
If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.
GEORGE BURNS

Ask Avoid Important Longevity Most Say Single Tension
Be quick to learn and wise to know.
GEORGE BURNS

Be Know Learn Quick Wise
You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.
GEORGE BURNS

Get Help Old Older
Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS

Age Anywhere Here Nice
Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
GEORGE BURNS

Bad Cigar Depend Good Handle Happiness Much Woman
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
GEORGE BURNS

Boy Dead Only Sea Sick
You’ve got to be honest; if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GEORGE BURNS

Fake Got Honest That Trouble
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
GEORGE BURNS

Down Finally First Forget Name Net Pull Zipper

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