If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.
GEORGE BURNSI’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.
More George Burns Quotes
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It’s hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
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You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.
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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
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I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
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If it’s a good script I’ll do it. And if it’s a bad script, and they pay me enough, I’ll do it.
GEORGE BURNS -
At my age flowers scare me.
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You’ve got to be honest; if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
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Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.
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I don’t believe in dying. It’s been done. I’m working on a new exit. Besides, I can’t die now – I’m booked.
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Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
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Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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It’s good to be here. At 98, it’s good to be anywhere.
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I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.
GEORGE BURNS