You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
GEORGE BURNSEverything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.
More George Burns Quotes
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I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
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Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
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I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.
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Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
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Be quick to learn and wise to know.
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This is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s only read two.
GEORGE BURNS -
Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
GEORGE BURNS -
I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
GEORGE BURNS -
Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
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If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.
GEORGE BURNS -
I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.
GEORGE BURNS -
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
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Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
GEORGE BURNS