The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
GEORGE BURNSEverything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.
More George Burns Quotes
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Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
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I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
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I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
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You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.
GEORGE BURNS -
I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.
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You’ve got to be honest; if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GEORGE BURNS -
Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
GEORGE BURNS -
Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.
GEORGE BURNS -
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
GEORGE BURNS -
Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
GEORGE BURNS -
If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
GEORGE BURNS -
I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
GEORGE BURNS -
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
GEORGE BURNS