First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
GEORGE BURNSI can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.
More George Burns Quotes
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This is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s only read two.
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I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
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Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.
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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
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Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.
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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
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Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
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You’ve got to be honest; if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
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You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
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If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.
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The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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How can I die? I’m booked.
GEORGE BURNS