I’m filthy stinking rich – well, two out of three ain’t bad.
EMO PHILIPS
Don’t wear fur! Did you know, a single fur coat takes fifteen trees, just for the protest signs?
More Emo Philips Quotes
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I’m filthy stinking rich – well, two out of three ain’t bad.
EMO PHILIPS -
I’d be in the backyard minding my own business. The other kids would call me names, like meatball head or neo-Calvinist. I’d run after them, but lucky for them the chain would snap my neck back.
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I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming. They don’t know I’m only using blanks.
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The other day a woman came up to me and said, Didn’t I see you on television? I said, I don’t know. You can’t see out the other way.
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Computers aren’t intelligent, they only think they are.
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I’m not a fatalist; even if I were, what could I do about it?
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I don’t know if I was put on this Earth for a purpose or not. But I’m fairly confident that I’ll be taken off of it for one.
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You know, a lot of girls go out with me just to further their careers…damn anthropologists.
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I’ve been wrestling with reality for most of my life. I’m pleased to say I’ve won.
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When I wake up in the morning, I just can’t get started until I’ve had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I’ve tried other enemas.
EMO PHILIPS -
I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, “I’m going to mop the floor with your face.” I said, “You’ll be sorry.” He said, “Oh, yeah? Why?” I said, “Well, how are you going to get into the corners?”
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You know what I hate the most? People that imitate owls.
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My parents had very strict rules for me. Rules like, I couldn’t be home until a certain hour.
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The American government is making nuclear weapons like there’s no tomorrow.
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My parents were very protective. I couldn’t even cross the street without them getting all excited, and placing bets.
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The Scots are a very tough people. They have drive-by headbuttings. In Glasgow a sweatband is considered a silencer.
EMO PHILIPS