I’m learning Cuban. It’s like Spanish, but with fewer words for luxury items.
EMO PHILIPS
I’ve been wrestling with reality for most of my life. I’m pleased to say I’ve won.
More Emo Philips Quotes
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I’m learning Cuban. It’s like Spanish, but with fewer words for luxury items.
EMO PHILIPS -
I don’t know how electricity works. All I know is that it calms me.
EMO PHILIPS -
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I don’t know if I was put on this Earth for a purpose or not. But I’m fairly confident that I’ll be taken off of it for one.
EMO PHILIPS -
My girlfriend said, Just buy me something crazy and expensive, something I don’t even need! So, I signed her up for radiation treatment.
EMO PHILIPS -
My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.
EMO PHILIPS -
I was walking down the street the other day and these construction workers were working on the roof hammering away. One of them told me I was a paranoid lunatic… in morse code.
EMO PHILIPS -
One man’s pet-stained carpet is another man’s Twister game.
EMO PHILIPS -
I used to get drunk every night until I puked. Finally I admitted, “I am a bulemic”.
EMO PHILIPS -
Some mornings, it’s just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
EMO PHILIPS -
When deciding between two competing theories, always go with the one that doesn’t involve a magic spell.
EMO PHILIPS -
New York’s such a wonderful city. Although I was at the library today. The guy was very rude. I said, “I’d like a card.” He says, “You have to prove you’re a citizen of New York.” So I stabbed him.
EMO PHILIPS -
People come up to me… concerned… that I’ll reproduce.
EMO PHILIPS -
You know what I hate the most? People that imitate owls.
EMO PHILIPS -
I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming. They don’t know I’m only using blanks.
EMO PHILIPS