I don’t like to drink alone ’cause there’s nobody to fight with.
BOB SAGETI love watching people get hit in the crotch. But only if they get back up. If their teeth are bleeding, if they’re really hurt, if an ambulance has to come, I’m not laughing.
More Bob Saget Quotes
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I don’t roll like that but I’ve never been with a hooker either. Yeah, that’s good to say in an interview cause I feel bad a little because people grew up watching me and that’s a little disturbing.
BOB SAGET -
The secret to raising children is to love them… And teach them to operate in a way you can tolerate them the best.
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Not a lot of people have done this. Stop It. This is why. You can cauterize your asshole shut, so when you fart it has nowhere to go and you can have a fart attack.
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It’s a new day: Full of promise and love. The only thing that can take away that great feeling is – reading the news or speaking to people.
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I love telling stories and acting and entertaining people. I don’t want to make fun of people.
BOB SAGET -
The squirrel in my yard really knows his way around the neighborhood.
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I was going to do a big radio show, and I said to my driver, ‘Radio can wait, take me to the Full House house.’ It literally was a drive-by.
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My mom told me she thinks a man in the market felt her up today. I asked, Where did he touch you? She said, On my knee, Bobby.
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Think well of yourself and others will too. Unless those others are in government, banking, or show business.
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My father once told me, and it’s stuck with me to this day: As you walk through life, every time you fart it pushes you forward.
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When you’re famous, you’re always famous. It doesn’t go away.
BOB SAGET -
I don’t feel like I’m with you. And I say, You know what? That was your mother’s gripe, too. And she was right. And you’re also correct. When you cop to something, you get to the next level. In this case, the next level is: I just learned something from my twelve-year-old.
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I’d like a nice piece of salmon that’s not too pink inside and yet isn’t too dry or crisp either.
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People do what they do to each other and they feed on it.
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My haircutter figured out I whine less if I’m under general anesthesia. I just hope when I awaken they haven’t given me a Brazilian wax.
BOB SAGET