• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 

1. black
2. grey
3. blue
4. red
5. brown
6. white

I wouldn’t hurt a flea. I’d finger a spider though.

Bob Saget

Related Topics

FleasHurtSpider

Popular Authors

Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

| Next

More Bob Saget Quotes

• 

  I have a feeling I’m going to wake up one day and say ‘I can’t do dirty stuff anymore, I want to go all clean.’ I’ll do clean stuff too, I like to entertain people. Then they egged me on; we shot it at The Laugh Factory.

  BOB SAGET
  AnymoreDirtyLaughingPeopleStuff
• 

  I never went to camp as a kid. I couldn’t get into an Ivy League school. I wouldn’t join a biker club.

  BOB SAGET
  BikerClubKidsSchool
• 

  Today is a brand new day. A day of change, of promise, of creativity, of kindness, and of love. I’m going back to bed.

  BOB SAGET
  CreativityDayKindnessNew
• 

  I have the brain of a German Shepherd and the body of a 16-year-old boy; they’re both in my car and I want you to see them

  BOB SAGET
  BoysCarCountryYears
• 

  I just had a pedicure. My feet are soft like a baby’s behind. If his ass was covered in calluses.

  BOB SAGET
  BabyFeetPedicures
• 

  Concerned we’re in a time where politicians can’t even fake sincerity. Aren’t they supposed to be good at that?

  BOB SAGET
  FakePoliticsSincerity
• 

  Think well of yourself and others will too. Unless those others are in government, banking, or show business.

  BOB SAGET
  BankingGovernmentThinking
• 

  I’m fortunate to know a lot of incredibly talented people, and they all want to be a penguin.

  BOB SAGET
  PenguinsPeopleWant
• 

  If I ever die, I want it to be cause I got hit by a car saving a kid.

  BOB SAGET
  CarDieKidsSavingWant
• 

  Nothing worse than a piece of dried out fish.

  BOB SAGET
  FishesNothingPieces
• 

  I’m doing 5000 seat theaters and audiences are going nuts, it’s fantastic and it makes me very happy. I’m dirty, but not like this; I just do comedy that I find funny. I’m working on a new tv show for cable and it’s not set up yet.

  BOB SAGET
  ComedyDirtyNutsShowShowsTelevision
• 

  I don’t roll like that but I’ve never been with a hooker either. Yeah, that’s good to say in an interview cause I feel bad a little because people grew up watching me and that’s a little disturbing.

  BOB SAGET
  InterviewsLittlesPeople
• 

  What I have now are good problems of trying to decide and what I really want to do is good work next. My phone’s ringing a lot more and I’ve got nine lines so when it doesn’t ring, it’s very frustrating.

  BOB SAGET
  LinesPhonesTrying
• 

  What do you do if you’re in the car and your girlfriend touches your crotch then asks you to remind her to get kitchen scissors?

  BOB SAGET
  CarGirlfriendKitchen
• 

  My dad’s like, If your mom and I are having sex and we videotape it and she falls out of bed funny, can I win ten-thousand dollars?

  BOB SAGET
  DadDollarFunnyMomSex
• 

  Bob Saget was known, in the comedy clubs in those days, as extremely funny but with dark humor. It was always an inside joke among comics, when he got Full House, it was, like, wow, hes playing this all-American dad kind of thing.

  BOB SAGET
  DadDarkHouse
• 

  A good way to keep your relationship together is not to scream in terror when you see your partner naked.

  BOB SAGET
  GoodNakedTogetherWay
• 

  I think comedy is on an organic upsurge right now because when I started, it was 1978 at The Comedy Store and Letterman had just stopped emceeing his morning show.

  BOB SAGET
  ComedyMorningThinking
• 

  I think when you dissect a joke too much, you have ruined whatever there is in comedy.

  BOB SAGET
  ComedyMuchThinkingToo
• 

  My mom told me she thinks a man in the market felt her up today. I asked, Where did he touch you? She said, On my knee, Bobby.

  BOB SAGET
  MomThinkingTodayTold
• 

  I was going to do a big radio show, and I said to my driver, ‘Radio can wait, take me to the Full House house.’ It literally was a drive-by.

  BOB SAGET
  HouseWaitingYesterday
• 

  Most people argue over who’s right, not about what the truth is.

  BOB SAGET
  ArguingPeopleTruth
• 

  My favorite Dylan song? I think it’s ‘Just Like a Woman.’ It always makes me cry.

  BOB SAGET
  CryFavoriteSongThinking
• 

  It’s a new day: Full of promise and love. The only thing that can take away that great feeling is – reading the news or speaking to people.

  BOB SAGET
  DayNewPeopleReading
• 

  I don’t feel like I’m with you. And I say, You know what? That was your mother’s gripe, too. And she was right. And you’re also correct. When you cop to something, you get to the next level. In this case, the next level is: I just learned something from my twelve-year-old.

  BOB SAGET
  CaseFeelLevelMotherSomething
• 

  My favorite procrastination is to make the choice to have valuable times with human beings that I care about instead of holing myself up alone to get my work done.

  BOB SAGET
  ChoicesDoneProcrastination
• 

  My mom just told me it’s impossible to know what’s going to happen in life. Except with breakfast, cause she eats the same thing every day.

  BOB SAGET
  BreakfastCausesMom