When you’re famous, you’re always famous. It doesn’t go away.
BOB SAGETFriend of mine just told me he used to be a bad alcoholic. I calmed him down. Told him he was a good alcoholic just a horrible drinker.
More Bob Saget Quotes
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People do what they do to each other and they feed on it.
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Jon Lovitz. Jon, your act is like masturbation: you’re the only one who enjoys it, and you should be arrested for doing it in public.
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If you’re hanging out with two negative people, do they equal one positive person?
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I was going to do a big radio show, and I said to my driver, ‘Radio can wait, take me to the Full House house.’ It literally was a drive-by.
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If I ever die, I want it to be cause I got hit by a car saving a kid.
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I don’t feel like I’m with you. And I say, You know what? That was your mother’s gripe, too. And she was right. And you’re also correct. When you cop to something, you get to the next level. In this case, the next level is: I just learned something from my twelve-year-old.
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My wife is a saint. She’s Gandhi. She walks around in diapers and won’t eat.
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Nobody can tell me what I can or can’t do, except they can.
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Sometimes I wish I hadn’t said something foolish. It is then that I realize the power of mime.
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The favorite method of vice is to diss all responsibility be work or social, go off by myself, and enjoy a good steak and a great glass of wine. Oh yeah, and my kids are there too.
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I wouldn’t hurt a flea. I’d finger a spider though.
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I don’t like to drink alone ’cause there’s nobody to fight with.
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Met a girl the other nite and told her- Before you can be with someone you have to know the value of yourself. So does $200 seem reasonable?
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My dad’s like, If your mom and I are having sex and we videotape it and she falls out of bed funny, can I win ten-thousand dollars?
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Yet there are some people – Steve Allen would dissect comedy forever; he’s a really funny guy, but he would love talking about comedy. I’m doing it right now and you all seem bored.
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I think when you dissect a joke too much, you have ruined whatever there is in comedy.
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I’m completely changing my diet. My nutritionist recommends I must now stop eating food I have already eliminated.
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The nature of comedy is ‘just do it.’ But I think what’s interesting about it is this joke has been around and why. And it’s just saying what’s wrong and how wrong can you be if you say it.
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I have three kids, the oldest is 18 and her friends are going to see it The Aristocrats because they told her they’re going to see it, especially her guy friends.
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I’m psyched about what I can contribute that can be meaningful to myself and to others.
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I like to approach every day like it’s my first, so this morning when I woke up I covered my body with red gelatin.
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Most people argue over who’s right, not about what the truth is.
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Nothing worse than a piece of dried out fish.
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I don’t censor myself, but I don’t want to force my sick-skewed version of the world, either.
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Behind every great man in prison is another great man in prison.
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I have no agenda, nothing to control.
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