Nobody can tell me what I can or can’t do, except they can.
BOB SAGETI’m completely changing my diet. My nutritionist recommends I must now stop eating food I have already eliminated.
More Bob Saget Quotes
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My haircutter figured out I whine less if I’m under general anesthesia. I just hope when I awaken they haven’t given me a Brazilian wax.
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25, 30 years ago, that meant something, they were making some money. And they were doing all sorts of comedy, screaming at the audience, basically crowd control. And then there was the whole urban comedy scene.
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Wise men say, only fools rush in. Wise men are so slow.
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It’s 103 comedians, or however many it is, and how would everyone tell it. It’s enough people of substance that it makes you think of the people who aren’t there that are alive.
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I like to approach every day like it’s my first, so this morning when I woke up I covered my body with red gelatin.
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My wife is a saint. She’s Gandhi. She walks around in diapers and won’t eat.
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In the creative sense, I’m looking forward to collaborating with people I have mutual respect for to create some really good work.
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My dad’s like, If your mom and I are having sex and we videotape it and she falls out of bed funny, can I win ten-thousand dollars?
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I will always prefer a hardback book, but I’m drawn to digital because it’s so easy to acquire them when I’m having a need-to-read moment.
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Think well of yourself and others will too. Unless those others are in government, banking, or show business.
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The squirrel in my yard really knows his way around the neighborhood.
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I was going to do a big radio show, and I said to my driver, ‘Radio can wait, take me to the Full House house.’ It literally was a drive-by.
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Most people argue over who’s right, not about what the truth is.
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There are no I’s in we but there are two i’s in Wii.
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Everyone I love I pay.
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I don’t censor myself, but I don’t want to force my sick-skewed version of the world, either.
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No one gets a free ride. Except maybe bus drivers.
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I love telling stories and acting and entertaining people. I don’t want to make fun of people.
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People do what they do to each other and they feed on it.
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You learn who your friends are when you find out who will lie for you.
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The secret to raising children is to love them… And teach them to operate in a way you can tolerate them the best.
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I have three kids, the oldest is 18 and her friends are going to see it The Aristocrats because they told her they’re going to see it, especially her guy friends.
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My dad told me if I was ever intimidated by anyone, just picture them with their clothes off. He said that’s how he dealt with my mom.
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Sometimes I wish I hadn’t said something foolish. It is then that I realize the power of mime.
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A good way to keep your relationship together is not to scream in terror when you see your partner naked.
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Behind every great man in prison is another great man in prison.
BOB SAGET