“I have the brain of a German Shepherd and the body of a 16-year-old boy; they’re both in my car and I want you to see them”

When someone you love is hurting, if it was possible, you’d want to take their pain for them. But do I really want cramps and sore boobs?

I don’t roll like that but I’ve never been with a hooker either. Yeah, that’s good to say in an interview cause I feel bad a little because people grew up watching me and that’s a little disturbing.

Ladies, apologies, but isn’t ‘vintage’ just used stuff?

I was in a supermarket and I saw Paul Newman’s face on salad dressing and spaghetti sauce….I thought he was missing.

It was a JOB; the video show was a JOB; you don’t tell the Aristocrats joke at 8 o’clock at night on network tv, it would be funny though. But those guys know I like dirty stuff, I like clean stuff too.

Today is a brand new day. A day of change, of promise, of creativity, of kindness, and of love. I’m going back to bed.

I’m psyched about what I can contribute that can be meaningful to myself and to others.

If I ever die, I want it to be cause I got hit by a car saving a kid.

When a normal 17-year-old girl storms out of the house or 15-year-old boy is mad at his mom or dad, they’re not talking the way people talk on TV. Unless it’s cable.

Everyone I love I pay.

I don’t feel like I’m with you. And I say, You know what? That was your mother’s gripe, too. And she was right. And you’re also correct. When you cop to something, you get to the next level. In this case, the next level is: I just learned something from my twelve-year-old.

I think comedy is on an organic upsurge right now because when I started, it was 1978 at The Comedy Store and Letterman had just stopped emceeing his morning show.

My humor was kind of from my dad and all the stuff that we went through, which was a lot of death. My humor was an escape.

I don’t censor myself, but I don’t want to force my sick-skewed version of the world, either.

I have no agenda, nothing to control.

In the creative sense, I’m looking forward to collaborating with people I have mutual respect for to create some really good work.

I wanted to show that women could run, but I also wanted to kind of inspire the idea that ordinary people can run.

I do think 3D has seriously improved, since I was a boy. It’s fabulous.

When I was 18, science, physics, and math were my favorite. I was a bit of a nerd – the only girl with a lot of boys at chess championships.

That boy don’t know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades, and that boy don’t know the meaning of a lot of words.

Junior was eleven. The statement is significant. There are a few peevish people in the world who believe that all eleven-year-old boys ought to be hung. Others, less irritable, think that gently chloroforming them would seem more humane.

Well, a good ole boy is somebody that rides around in a pick-up truck – which I do – and drinks beer and puts ’em in a litter bag.

Any player coming to Spurs whether he’s a big signing or just a ground staff boy must be dedicated to the game and to the club.

In this perilous world, if a black boy wanted to live a halfway normal life and die a natural death he had to learn early the art of how to get along with white folks.