“Just went to the gym and worked on every body part. Four people slapped me.”

Just a tip if you have a big event to go to or an important meeting, if you cry enough your face swells up giving you a temporary lift.

I was going to do a big radio show, and I said to my driver, ‘Radio can wait, take me to the Full House house.’ It literally was a drive-by.

We don’t measure our people’s success in how they’re doing in government. We measure how they are doing in the real world and the private sector economy.

It’s okay to get stoned, as long as its not by other people.

When you’re famous, you’re always famous. It doesn’t go away.

He suffered from paralysis by analysis.

My dad told me if I was ever intimidated by anyone, just picture them with their clothes off. He said that’s how he dealt with my mom.

Stop It, stop lighting your butthol on fire, and everybody listen to me. If you light your ass on fire, I hope you have boxers or a filter of somekind, because if your a bareass person.

An inch of progress is worth more than a yard of complaint.

What do you do if you’re in the car and your girlfriend touches your crotch then asks you to remind her to get kitchen scissors?

I went to school to be an actor in Canada and realized I hated auditions once I left, which is a huge problem if you want to get a part.

Words matter. Especially ones with four letters.

Kindness isn’t just a virtue, its a necessity.

My favorite Dylan song? I think it’s ‘Just Like a Woman.’ It always makes me cry.

As much as I love the whole pirate kind of thing, the quality suffers.

Met a girl the other nite and told her- Before you can be with someone you have to know the value of yourself. So does $200 seem reasonable?

[Julie Marie Pacino]is a great ballplayer, which I wanted to be. She did make four films by the time she was 14 but we’re not going to talk about that.

But I could not socialize with them so I spent a lot of time alone in my hotel room. Those four walls kind of close in on you.

Al and Tommy and I sharing the biggest laugh because it was predicted by everything we did in the first three or four records in my career.

A good way to work on alternate picking is to choose three or four notes, and work on those.

He [Newt Gingrich] is the most unpopular politician in America. His favorable rating is only four points higher than the Unabomber.

and I get refill number three or four and the wine is making my bones loose and it’s giving my hair a red sheen and my breasts are blooming and my eyes feel sultry and wise and the dress is water.

I went to a college in New York called New Paltz. I studied theater there for four years.

I spent 24 and a half years in prison