No one gets a free ride. Except maybe bus drivers.
BOB SAGETIt was a JOB; the video show was a JOB; you don’t tell the Aristocrats joke at 8 o’clock at night on network tv, it would be funny though. But those guys know I like dirty stuff, I like clean stuff too.
More Bob Saget Quotes
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I become a chameleon for wherever I am.
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I just had a pedicure. My feet are soft like a baby’s behind. If his ass was covered in calluses.
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When a normal 17-year-old girl storms out of the house or 15-year-old boy is mad at his mom or dad, they’re not talking the way people talk on TV. Unless it’s cable.
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It’s so nice to share a day as beautiful as this one with hundreds of thousands of reckless drivers.
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I’d like a nice piece of salmon that’s not too pink inside and yet isn’t too dry or crisp either.
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I’m a believer that when one door closes another one opens. But why does the one opening always hit me full-speed-knob-first into my nuts?
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I don’t like to drink alone ’cause there’s nobody to fight with.
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Today is a brand new day. A day of change, of promise, of creativity, of kindness, and of love. I’m going back to bed.
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Everyone I love I pay.
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I’m doing 5000 seat theaters and audiences are going nuts, it’s fantastic and it makes me very happy. I’m dirty, but not like this; I just do comedy that I find funny. I’m working on a new tv show for cable and it’s not set up yet.
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If you’re a host of a video show and you’re on the cleanest show on television for eight years, people want to say, ‘Well, that’s what that person does.’ That was the dilemma for me, career-wise.
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All I’ve ever done is try to entertain my way through a life that often has a huge amount of heaviness in it.
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I have a feeling I’m going to wake up one day and say ‘I can’t do dirty stuff anymore, I want to go all clean.’ I’ll do clean stuff too, I like to entertain people. Then they egged me on; we shot it at The Laugh Factory.
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I am stressed because once I am flattened out so thin to be able to slide under a doorway, I may never be able to ever be unflattened so I could be regular sized again.
BOB SAGET -
When someone you love is hurting, if it was possible, you’d want to take their pain for them. But do I really want cramps and sore boobs?
BOB SAGET -
Not a lot of people have done this. Stop It. This is why. You can cauterize your asshole shut, so when you fart it has nowhere to go and you can have a fart attack.
BOB SAGET -
Wise men say, only fools rush in. Wise men are so slow.
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I don’t feel like I’m with you. And I say, You know what? That was your mother’s gripe, too. And she was right. And you’re also correct. When you cop to something, you get to the next level. In this case, the next level is: I just learned something from my twelve-year-old.
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It’s okay to get stoned, as long as its not by other people.
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Nobody can tell me what I can or can’t do, except they can.
BOB SAGET -
I have no plan except to take care of the people I love.
BOB SAGET -
When you’re famous, you’re always famous. It doesn’t go away.
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Sundays are a good day to look at the limitless possibilities of the week ahead. The key is to prolong that feeling by not reading the news.
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I think when you dissect a joke too much, you have ruined whatever there is in comedy.
BOB SAGET -
A good way to keep your relationship together is not to scream in terror when you see your partner naked.
BOB SAGET -
In the creative sense, I’m looking forward to collaborating with people I have mutual respect for to create some really good work.
BOB SAGET