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Nobody can tell me what I can or can’t do, except they can.

Bob Saget

I love watching people get hit in the crotch. But only if they get back up. If their teeth are bleeding, if they’re really hurt, if an ambulance has to come, I’m not laughing.
BOB SAGET

Hurt Laughing People
It’s so nice to share a day as beautiful as this one with hundreds of thousands of reckless drivers.
BOB SAGET

Beautiful Nice Reckless
I wouldn’t hurt a flea. I’d finger a spider though.
BOB SAGET

Fleas Hurt Spider
I become a chameleon for wherever I am.
BOB SAGET

Become Chameleon Whenever
What do you do if you’re in the car and your girlfriend touches your crotch then asks you to remind her to get kitchen scissors?
BOB SAGET

Car Girlfriend Kitchen
Sometimes I wish I hadn’t said something foolish. It is then that I realize the power of mime.
BOB SAGET

Realizing Sometimes Wish
The nature of comedy is ‘just do it.’ But I think what’s interesting about it is this joke has been around and why. And it’s just saying what’s wrong and how wrong can you be if you say it.
BOB SAGET

Comedy Interesting Thinking
Most people argue over who’s right, not about what the truth is.
BOB SAGET

Arguing People Truth
No one gets a free ride. Except maybe bus drivers.
BOB SAGET

Bus Driver Drivers
Ladies, apologies, but isn’t ‘vintage’ just used stuff?
BOB SAGET

Apology Stuff Vintage
Wise men say, only fools rush in. Wise men are so slow.
BOB SAGET

Fool Men Wise
Valuable people are undervalued.
BOB SAGET

People Undervalued Valuable
If you’re a host of a video show and you’re on the cleanest show on television for eight years, people want to say, ‘Well, that’s what that person does.’ That was the dilemma for me, career-wise.
BOB SAGET

Career Eight Wise
I just had a pedicure. My feet are soft like a baby’s behind. If his ass was covered in calluses.
BOB SAGET

Baby Feet Pedicures
I’m doing 5000 seat theaters and audiences are going nuts, it’s fantastic and it makes me very happy. I’m dirty, but not like this; I just do comedy that I find funny. I’m working on a new tv show for cable and it’s not set up yet.
BOB SAGET

Comedy Dirty Nuts Show Shows Television
I was on Entourage last week smoking a bong and making out with hookers and I did show them that before, cause it wasn’t a hard ‘r’ cause a lot of people are watching that show that they know, not my little one – she’s 12, but very sophisticated so it’s an unusual case.
BOB SAGET

Littles People Smoking

Nobody can tell me what I can or can’t do, except they can.

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Nobody can tell me what I can or can’t do, except they can.

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