At the end of the day it’s the end of the day.
BOB SAGETNobody can tell me what I can or can’t do, except they can.
More Bob Saget Quotes
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My haircutter figured out I whine less if I’m under general anesthesia. I just hope when I awaken they haven’t given me a Brazilian wax.
BOB SAGET -
I have no plan except to take care of the people I love.
BOB SAGET -
I’m a believer that when one door closes another one opens. But why does the one opening always hit me full-speed-knob-first into my nuts?
BOB SAGET -
25, 30 years ago, that meant something, they were making some money. And they were doing all sorts of comedy, screaming at the audience, basically crowd control. And then there was the whole urban comedy scene.
BOB SAGET -
What I’ve learned about comedy people is that they’re defined by the harshest level they’ve been to, their personal Auschwitz.
BOB SAGET -
It was a JOB; the video show was a JOB; you don’t tell the Aristocrats joke at 8 o’clock at night on network tv, it would be funny though. But those guys know I like dirty stuff, I like clean stuff too.
BOB SAGET -
Wise men say, only fools rush in. Wise men are so slow.
BOB SAGET -
I love my mom! You can too for $12!
BOB SAGET -
If you’re hanging out with two negative people, do they equal one positive person?
BOB SAGET -
You learn who your friends are when you find out who will lie for you.
BOB SAGET -
Sundays are a good day to look at the limitless possibilities of the week ahead. The key is to prolong that feeling by not reading the news.
BOB SAGET -
My wife is a saint. She’s Gandhi. She walks around in diapers and won’t eat.
BOB SAGET -
My dad told me if I was ever intimidated by anyone, just picture them with their clothes off. He said that’s how he dealt with my mom.
BOB SAGET -
Not a lot of people have done this. Stop It. This is why. You can cauterize your asshole shut, so when you fart it has nowhere to go and you can have a fart attack.
BOB SAGET -
What do you do if you’re in the car and your girlfriend touches your crotch then asks you to remind her to get kitchen scissors?
BOB SAGET