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No one gets a free ride. Except maybe bus drivers.

Bob Saget

My father once told me, and it’s stuck with me to this day: As you walk through life, every time you fart it pushes you forward.
BOB SAGET

Fart Father Stuck
The squirrel in my yard really knows his way around the neighborhood.
BOB SAGET

Squirrels Way Yards
I love watching people get hit in the crotch. But only if they get back up. If their teeth are bleeding, if they’re really hurt, if an ambulance has to come, I’m not laughing.
BOB SAGET

Hurt Laughing People
Behind every great man in prison is another great man in prison.
BOB SAGET

Behind Every Great Man Men Prison
Sometimes I wish I hadn’t said something foolish. It is then that I realize the power of mime.
BOB SAGET

Realizing Sometimes Wish
Today is a brand new day. A day of change, of promise, of creativity, of kindness, and of love. I’m going back to bed.
BOB SAGET

Creativity Day Kindness New
Wise men say, only fools rush in. Wise men are so slow.
BOB SAGET

Fool Men Wise
Concerned we’re in a time where politicians can’t even fake sincerity. Aren’t they supposed to be good at that?
BOB SAGET

Fake Politics Sincerity
I’m a believer that when one door closes another one opens. But why does the one opening always hit me full-speed-knob-first into my nuts?
BOB SAGET

Doe Doors Nuts
A lot of people ask me what my favorite episode of Full House was, I always tell them: it was the last one!
BOB SAGET

House Lasts People
I was in a supermarket and I saw Paul Newman’s face on salad dressing and spaghetti sauce….I thought he was missing.
BOB SAGET

Dressing Missing Salad Sauce
All I’ve ever done is try to entertain my way through a life that often has a huge amount of heaviness in it.
BOB SAGET

Around Done Heaviness Trying Way
Saw a man in Whole Foods yelling at his son, What are you doing?! You know I don’t eat bread!! Is there such a thing as health food abuse?
BOB SAGET

Men Saw Son Yelling
It’s okay to get stoned, as long as its not by other people.
BOB SAGET

Long Okay People
My humor was kind of from my dad and all the stuff that we went through, which was a lot of death. My humor was an escape.
BOB SAGET

Dad Escape Humor Kind Study Stuff
Just went to the gym and worked on every body part. Four people slapped me.
BOB SAGET

Body Four People

No one gets a free ride. Except maybe bus drivers.

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No one gets a free ride. Except maybe bus drivers.

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