I don’t censor myself, but I don’t want to force my sick-skewed version of the world, either.
BOB SAGETI love my mom! You can too for $12!
More Bob Saget Quotes
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If you don’t wake up every day happy, change something.
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That was not Bob Saget. His comedic style is definitely more twisted, and he has an edgier side than he showed in Full House.
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Met a girl the other nite and told her- Before you can be with someone you have to know the value of yourself. So does $200 seem reasonable?
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When you’re famous, you’re always famous. It doesn’t go away.
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I think when you dissect a joke too much, you have ruined whatever there is in comedy.
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Some people rely on rumors and gossip because they are devoid of any original thought.
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A lot of the comedians don’t even tell the joke. Like only three tell the joke, the rest of them dissect it.
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I never went to camp as a kid. I couldn’t get into an Ivy League school. I wouldn’t join a biker club.
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Yet there are some people – Steve Allen would dissect comedy forever; he’s a really funny guy, but he would love talking about comedy. I’m doing it right now and you all seem bored.
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It’s smart to marry your yoga teacher so when you get divorced you know how to go down on yourself.
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My humor was kind of from my dad and all the stuff that we went through, which was a lot of death. My humor was an escape.
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No one gets a free ride. Except maybe bus drivers.
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I’d like a nice piece of salmon that’s not too pink inside and yet isn’t too dry or crisp either.
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In the creative sense, I’m looking forward to collaborating with people I have mutual respect for to create some really good work.
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I have the brain of a German Shepherd and the body of a 16-year-old boy; they’re both in my car and I want you to see them
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And turkeys are a bird. A very nervous bird. You’d be nervous too if you knew that one day you’d get your head cut off and… filled with stuffing.
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When a normal 17-year-old girl storms out of the house or 15-year-old boy is mad at his mom or dad, they’re not talking the way people talk on TV. Unless it’s cable.
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I just had a pedicure. My feet are soft like a baby’s behind. If his ass was covered in calluses.
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I wouldn’t hurt a flea. I’d finger a spider though.
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Ladies, apologies, but isn’t ‘vintage’ just used stuff?
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Nothing worse than a piece of dried out fish.
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I love telling stories and acting and entertaining people. I don’t want to make fun of people.
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Bob Saget was known, in the comedy clubs in those days, as extremely funny but with dark humor. It was always an inside joke among comics, when he got Full House, it was, like, wow, hes playing this all-American dad kind of thing.
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A lot of people ask me what my favorite episode of Full House was, I always tell them: it was the last one!
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People do what they do to each other and they feed on it.
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I love watching people get hit in the crotch. But only if they get back up. If their teeth are bleeding, if they’re really hurt, if an ambulance has to come, I’m not laughing.
BOB SAGET