“If you’re a host of a video show and you’re on the cleanest show on television for eight years, people want to say, ‘Well, that’s what that person does.’ That was the dilemma for me, career-wise.”

My dad told me if I was ever intimidated by anyone, just picture them with their clothes off. He said that’s how he dealt with my mom.

Stop It, stop lighting your butthol on fire, and everybody listen to me. If you light your ass on fire, I hope you have boxers or a filter of somekind, because if your a bareass person.

An inch of progress is worth more than a yard of complaint.

What do you do if you’re in the car and your girlfriend touches your crotch then asks you to remind her to get kitchen scissors?

I went to school to be an actor in Canada and realized I hated auditions once I left, which is a huge problem if you want to get a part.

Words matter. Especially ones with four letters.

Kindness isn’t just a virtue, its a necessity.

My favorite Dylan song? I think it’s ‘Just Like a Woman.’ It always makes me cry.

As much as I love the whole pirate kind of thing, the quality suffers.

Met a girl the other nite and told her- Before you can be with someone you have to know the value of yourself. So does $200 seem reasonable?

I will always prefer a hardback book, but I’m drawn to digital because it’s so easy to acquire them when I’m having a need-to-read moment.

My father once told me, and it’s stuck with me to this day: As you walk through life, every time you fart it pushes you forward.

People do what they do to each other and they feed on it.

When someone you love is hurting, if it was possible, you’d want to take their pain for them. But do I really want cramps and sore boobs?

I don’t roll like that but I’ve never been with a hooker either. Yeah, that’s good to say in an interview cause I feel bad a little because people grew up watching me and that’s a little disturbing.

Ladies, apologies, but isn’t ‘vintage’ just used stuff?

For an actor, you’re rejected eight or ten times a day. All you’ve got to sell is yourself. You’re not selling products, they’re not turning down a car, they’re turning you down. Most people can’t handle that. Most people are essentially not set up that way.

I was a model for eight years. That’s the deal: People look. But I didn’t like being looked at and never seen.

I work eight hours a day, but I’m not writing all that time. I’m thinking, editing, looking something up. Thinking is what I do a lot of.

I bike all the time in New York City. I bike for hours. I can bike for eight hours a day and just go everywhere with bikes.

Buyers decide in the first eight seconds of seeing a home if they’re interested in buying it. Get out of your car, walk in their shoes and see what they see within the first eight seconds.

Rent a wide-angle lens and good lighting, get rid of your clutter and post at least eight great photos to win the beauty contest.

A whopping 89 percent of buyers start their home search online. How your house looks online is the modern equivalent of ‘curb appeal.’

I just want to keep living on and enjoying food! Even though I’m gaining weight,