“Sometimes I wish I hadn’t said something foolish. It is then that I realize the power of mime.”

I’m psyched about what I can contribute that can be meaningful to myself and to others.

If I ever die, I want it to be cause I got hit by a car saving a kid.

When a normal 17-year-old girl storms out of the house or 15-year-old boy is mad at his mom or dad, they’re not talking the way people talk on TV. Unless it’s cable.

Everyone I love I pay.

I don’t feel like I’m with you. And I say, You know what? That was your mother’s gripe, too. And she was right. And you’re also correct. When you cop to something, you get to the next level. In this case, the next level is: I just learned something from my twelve-year-old.

I think comedy is on an organic upsurge right now because when I started, it was 1978 at The Comedy Store and Letterman had just stopped emceeing his morning show.

My humor was kind of from my dad and all the stuff that we went through, which was a lot of death. My humor was an escape.

I don’t censor myself, but I don’t want to force my sick-skewed version of the world, either.

I have no agenda, nothing to control.

In the creative sense, I’m looking forward to collaborating with people I have mutual respect for to create some really good work.

Think well of yourself and others will too. Unless those others are in government, banking, or show business.

It’s 103 comedians, or however many it is, and how would everyone tell it. It’s enough people of substance that it makes you think of the people who aren’t there that are alive.

Wise men say, only fools rush in. Wise men are so slow.

If you’re a host of a video show and you’re on the cleanest show on television for eight years, people want to say, ‘Well, that’s what that person does.’ That was the dilemma for me, career-wise.

I am stressed because once I am flattened out so thin to be able to slide under a doorway, I may never be able to ever be unflattened so I could be regular sized again.

Friend of mine just told me he used to be a bad alcoholic. I calmed him down. Told him he was a good alcoholic just a horrible drinker.

The day you realize you’re a grownup is the day you realize that you have to do something. When we’re kids, we don’t have to do anything. Then all of a sudden you realize, if I want this to be better, I’ve got to do something.

Life, for people, begins to crumble on the edges; they don’t realize it.

The feeling of being halfway through a show and just realizing that there’s nothing you can do to save it – it’s a horrible feeling.

When God gives you some opportunities, it is almost like a process that you do not even realize what is recurring at the moment.

We are all farsighted, we give importance to those things that are far from us, while neglecting the things that are close to us… only to realize their value later when they are out-of-reach again.

The biggest embrace of love you’ll ever make is to embrace yourself completely. Then you’ll realize you’ve just embraced the whole universe, and everything and everybody in it.

If we do not live and manifest in our lives what we realize in our deepest moments of revelation, then we are living a split life.

All we really want in the end is to be connected once again with the Truth of our being, to realize what it is that wears this mask of self.