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Stop It, stop lighting your butthol on fire, and everybody listen to me. If you light your ass on fire, I hope you have boxers or a filter of somekind, because if your a bareass person.

Bob Saget

Most people argue over who’s right, not about what the truth is.
BOB SAGET

Arguing People Truth
My father once told me, and it’s stuck with me to this day: As you walk through life, every time you fart it pushes you forward.
BOB SAGET

Fart Father Stuck
I don’t like to drink alone ’cause there’s nobody to fight with.
BOB SAGET

Causes Drink Fighting
All I’ve ever done is try to entertain my way through a life that often has a huge amount of heaviness in it.
BOB SAGET

Around Done Heaviness Trying Way
I have no agenda, nothing to control.
BOB SAGET

Agendas Control Nothing
My dad told me if I was ever intimidated by anyone, just picture them with their clothes off. He said that’s how he dealt with my mom.
BOB SAGET

Clothes Dad Mom
I become a chameleon for wherever I am.
BOB SAGET

Become Chameleon Whenever
Some people rely on rumors and gossip because they are devoid of any original thought.
BOB SAGET

Gossip People Rumor
When a normal 17-year-old girl storms out of the house or 15-year-old boy is mad at his mom or dad, they’re not talking the way people talk on TV. Unless it’s cable.
BOB SAGET

Cable Storms Television Things Unless
Valuable people are undervalued.
BOB SAGET

People Undervalued Valuable
Friend of mine just told me he used to be a bad alcoholic. I calmed him down. Told him he was a good alcoholic just a horrible drinker.
BOB SAGET

Alcoholics Horrible Used
People do what they do to each other and they feed on it.
BOB SAGET

Each Other Feed People
Wise men say, only fools rush in. Wise men are so slow.
BOB SAGET

Fool Men Wise
No one gets a free ride. Except maybe bus drivers.
BOB SAGET

Bus Driver Drivers
Just went to the gym and worked on every body part. Four people slapped me.
BOB SAGET

Body Four People
A lot of the comedians don’t even tell the joke. Like only three tell the joke, the rest of them dissect it.
BOB SAGET

Comedian Jokes Three

Stop It, stop lighting your butthol on fire, and everybody listen to me. If you light your ass on fire, I hope you have boxers or a filter of somekind, because if your a bareass person.

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Stop It, stop lighting your butthol on fire, and everybody listen to me. If you light your ass on fire, I hope you have boxers or a filter of somekind, because if your a bareass person.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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